I was completely pulled into the atmosphere of this chapter. The writing feels lush and cinematic, especially the bakery apartment details, the candlelight, the October night outside, and the way Oliver and Trevor’s intimacy is woven into the setting.
Oliver’s narration is especially compelling because there’s so much tenderness on the surface, but also this quiet unease underneath it. The ending landed really strongly for me that final reveal about Patrick Davenport changed the whole emotional texture of the chapter and made me want to go back and reread it with fresh eyes. Really beautiful, haunting work. I’m very curious to see where Oliver’s story goes from here.
Wow, thanks, Lucy! It's hard to reply without spoiling anything, haha, but I think you picked up on exactly what I was trying to convey through Oliver's narration here.
Off to a great start Jack! I really like Oliver so far. He seems so observant and astute. He wants more with Trevor but knows not to push too hard on certain matters. Trevor is holding back for some reason, that’s probably gonna bite him in the ass, and not in a fun way. I can definitely see how a love triangle could form for Oliver, especially if the man we have yet to meet is willing to give him the things that Trevor is withholding. Excited to see how it all unfolds.
Yeah.. you pulled me right in again Jack. This 1st chapter was so descriptive, so very intriguing. I could picture it all in my minds eye.
Oliver is a mysterious character, we only got a small surface glimpse of him.
What happened? Oliver has obviously suffered a huge life reversal. From a doctor to a baker, barely making ends meet..
Trevor is another mystery, the bedroom scene was very passionate, there is some chemistry between these men! Why won't Trevor stay when he knows how much Oliver would like him to? This feels like an ongoing arrangement between them.
So many questions already. I am already looking forward to seeing where this goes..
On one hand I really want to know what happened in Oliver's life before, on the other I'm very anxious. But, as always, curiosity surpasses trepidation. So I look forward to what you have in mind for these characters!
Jack, you have laid a beginning of want and loss and not quite there. The sadness only corralled by blue eyed fluffy whiteness. Two souls, lost, one that understands and one that doesn't want to recognize the gap. Your visual prompts and the heat and relatability pulls the reader in, and rewards with a connection low in the core. Excellent. Thank you for sharing.
I was completely pulled into the atmosphere of this chapter. The writing feels lush and cinematic, especially the bakery apartment details, the candlelight, the October night outside, and the way Oliver and Trevor’s intimacy is woven into the setting.
Oliver’s narration is especially compelling because there’s so much tenderness on the surface, but also this quiet unease underneath it. The ending landed really strongly for me that final reveal about Patrick Davenport changed the whole emotional texture of the chapter and made me want to go back and reread it with fresh eyes. Really beautiful, haunting work. I’m very curious to see where Oliver’s story goes from here.
Wow, thanks, Lucy! It's hard to reply without spoiling anything, haha, but I think you picked up on exactly what I was trying to convey through Oliver's narration here.
I'm so glad I understood it the way you intended! I can't wait to read more.
And I wanna ask few questions about your story <3
Off to a great start Jack! I really like Oliver so far. He seems so observant and astute. He wants more with Trevor but knows not to push too hard on certain matters. Trevor is holding back for some reason, that’s probably gonna bite him in the ass, and not in a fun way. I can definitely see how a love triangle could form for Oliver, especially if the man we have yet to meet is willing to give him the things that Trevor is withholding. Excited to see how it all unfolds.
Thanks, CJ! Hope you have fun with this one.
Yeah.. you pulled me right in again Jack. This 1st chapter was so descriptive, so very intriguing. I could picture it all in my minds eye.
Oliver is a mysterious character, we only got a small surface glimpse of him.
What happened? Oliver has obviously suffered a huge life reversal. From a doctor to a baker, barely making ends meet..
Trevor is another mystery, the bedroom scene was very passionate, there is some chemistry between these men! Why won't Trevor stay when he knows how much Oliver would like him to? This feels like an ongoing arrangement between them.
So many questions already. I am already looking forward to seeing where this goes..
Thanks, my friend!
Jack, you did it again!!! I want to read everything NOW! 🙊😅
But nothing is as it seems?! I try to keep my angst down 🤣
Love this first chapter! Amazing as always!
Thanks, Flipsy!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!😊
Hahahaha
Great beginning! And very hot one at that 🔥!
On one hand I really want to know what happened in Oliver's life before, on the other I'm very anxious. But, as always, curiosity surpasses trepidation. So I look forward to what you have in mind for these characters!
Thanks, Aiden! I'm really grateful for you support! I hope Oliver's journey is worthy of it.
Jack, you have laid a beginning of want and loss and not quite there. The sadness only corralled by blue eyed fluffy whiteness. Two souls, lost, one that understands and one that doesn't want to recognize the gap. Your visual prompts and the heat and relatability pulls the reader in, and rewards with a connection low in the core. Excellent. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Mark!
Oooh, yes please, definitely following this one!
Thanks, Demi!